"He sure knows how to pick em' "

Straight the fuck up honestly I'm about to completely re-evaluate my dating habits. I have a black cloud over my shit i swear, i meet some of the most chemically imbalanced batshit crazy idiots EVARRR!!!! I really need to break it down for this one...................

*INHALES*

1. Psycho Bitch#1 (Benzos, Booze and Boo-Hoo's) - My Snowbunny calls me late at 4:30am higher than a giraffe's pussy off of alcohol, and X. Her speech sounds like a Chopped and Screwed Craig Mack song on warped ass vinyl, I'm trying to make out what she's talking about but it's like Eddie Murphy described when he stated that foreigners try to do his comedy routines....all i understand out of the conversation is "bitch" "fuck me" "my pussy" and "I looooooove youuuuuu!!", and then in a tale about her ex-boyfriend she starts crying out of nowhere, i mean like seriously bawling uncontrollably on some emotional Tourette's shit......bruh I'm seriously at a loss for words, but me being who i am I'm gonna make lemonade out of lemons and probably get some head from her on Monday when she comes back into town.......ok i confess I might splack her also depending on how faded i am.

2. Psycho Bitch#2 (low budget Fatal Attraction) - I don't understand what she wants to hear. From the jump i told her I ain't about shit and that i just want some ass and that box of Peanut Butter Cap N' Crunch she had on the refridgerator (i said this in those exact words) but after a sumptuous meal at Waffle House and watching reruns of The Middle and 30 minutes of pipe laying after wards you're holding my hand like we just jumped the got-damn broom.....to quote my homie Cold Step "You crazy as fuck shawty".....

3. Psycho Bitch#3 (Rubix Cube Hoe) - She was such a cutie....looked like the typical Cheerleader and she worked at Macy's. I had this nutcase flag me down when i was at Macy's looking for a Polo shirt to go with my Ralph Lauren shoes that i got on sale. She starts talking and was really really cute, but as soon as she got my number she switched on some Jekyll and Hyde shit. She starts talking about her kids and I'm thinking "you didn't mention those lil' muthafuckas when you were oogling me and pressing your tits up against my chest". And then she proceeds to tell me about how she almost stabbed her ex-boyfriend and after hearing that I'm trying to find the best excuse to leave the situation and lose the shit out of her number. Eventually i saw her again at Macy's.....(bitch had me so shook i started taking the scenic route) she asked why i never called her and i explained about how i got back with my girlfriend and how my mommy doesn't let me date anymore. All this time she was looking for Daddy DayCare and a got-damn simp.......I'm neither.....no pussy is worth stab wounds and child support.


In closing, i just wonder how in the fuck do i meet these weirdos? They possess no redeeming qualities whatsoever (but shit i might just have to borrow a Benzo from Psycho Bitch#1) and i keep meeting the same descriptions in different females. I'm about ready to say fuck it and start dating Asian chicks or something Hell i speak decent Chinese (thanks Clark Atlanta U). In the meantime i think youtube has great representations of the psychos i normally meet so here goes.

Psycho Bitch#1


Psycho Bitch#2


Psycho Bitch#3

God Bless You Alison Brie

Honestly if i could find a clone of this lady (at least for a weekend) I'd be a happy man. Alison Brie could have my light skinned baby plus she's nutty as all get out (I'll be doing a later blog on my favorite females with an odd sense of humor)......and let's just keep it real here her titties are the type of hooters that would make you crash in traffic. Hell they're so nice they might have the capability to make me act decent for 3 days (tops). They're not too big and not too small they're just right, Ms. Brie we salute you and your jugs and your quirkiness!

Really ladies? Really LOL?

I feel so sorry for her husband to be. My mom was watching this malarkey and i started watching it.....the hopelessness of it had me locked in. Now with me thinking outside the box i had to wonder.... does the groom to be know that he's gonna be stuck with this Harpie "til' death do us part" (which will probably be half a year)? Ladies seriously that loud in public shit is not cute and depending on the dude you might not like the results of your embarrassing actions. Granted wedding plannings are quite a stressful and everyone handles stress a certain way but got-damn! There's no golden amount of pussy and/or head that can make me withstand that kind of chalkboard screeching all day. Probably the only hope for their marriage is that her larynx fails or either she loses everyone in her circle and realizes that her behavior is not cute at all. Men i blame you.....I blame you for tolerating this behavior and not checking that shit immediately. On the show her husband was looking like he was going to the chair instead of his own wedding....what the fuck? But hey i guess it's long term vs. short term, me personally I can't fuck with being henpecked i don't care if she can suck the concrete out of Wall Street I have zero tolerance for disrespect and loudness (unless it's in good fun of course)....either way after looking at this i gotta say to myself "Maybe I'm truly not missing anything".

Peace

A bio of some sorts

Basically i made this blog to vent and chronicle some of my life stories which are interesting, I've always wanted to be a writer but I lack an English Degree and patience and honestly i wanted my shit to be a comic book straight up. I'm a smartass by nature and a effortless bitter cynic (it just comes out). DJ'n, video games and wrestling and of course failed relationships and hilarious rants and Martial Arts are reoccurring themes so steer clear if you like none of those. I'm currently stuck in Columbus Ga which is in my opinion the "Unemployment Capital Of The World" and you'll see me trash this city frequently within my rants. I named this shit "Hated Since 3rd Grade" for the simple fact that that's exactly how it went down and plus it sounded cool as Hell. Either way i pull no punches here and uploads will be plenty from my personal parodies to wrestling to games to....shit......anything i can get my hands on.

Enjoy.......and bite me if you don't